there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
