Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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