How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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