If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
