Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
