I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
