In the future we'll all be gay
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
