i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I AM VODKA MAN
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
