I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He had one of those small greek statue penises
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
