We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
