Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize