you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
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Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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