i'm signing you up for texting rehab
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
