Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
