East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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