Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
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Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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