just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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