yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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