apparently the secret to your success is patron
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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