You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
