is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
