And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
