On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
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i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
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He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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