i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize
