I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
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