i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
