he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
