I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
