I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
