if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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