Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize