sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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