i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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