You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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