420 ftw
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Randomize
