2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
