apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
he was CRYING into my vagina
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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