Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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