dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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