just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
