Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
