We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
