her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
