I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
