we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
can u get pink eye on your cock?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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