I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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