I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I smell like Dick and happiness
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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