I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
