Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
