Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
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