Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
