You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Randomize
