How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i will never coherently bang her
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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