I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Randomize
