He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you had me at cake vodka
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
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We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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