so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
