The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
