I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
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As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
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She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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