I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
